How To Destroy A Ouija Board
Getting rid of a Ouija board involves following a very complicated set of precise instructions. Failure to follow these instructions to the letter can result in the board haunting you for the rest of your life! Please resist the temptation to take shortcuts and follow the ritual to its completion. Your safety, nay, the safety of your very SOUL is in your hands...
Step 1 Put misbehaving Ouija board in box.
Step 2 Carry box (with the Ouija board inside) to the trashcan.
Step 3 Peek inside box to make sure the Ouija board hasn't magically vanished, or teleported to another part of your home in a futile attempt to save itself.
Step 4 Ever so carefully, remove the lid from trashcan.
Step 5 Toss box in trashcan
Step 6 Go to fridge and retrieve tasty snack as a reward for completing your complex task. If over the age of 21, we recommend a cold beer.
You have now rid yourself of the foul Ouija board. May it haunt you no more!
All kidding aside, 99% of the time you can just toss it in the trash. It's no big deal. But if your Ouija board has done something to really freak you out, you may want more closure. There are reports that spring up from time to time of people giving their board away, or trying to destroy it only to have it come back to them years later. If this idea frightens you, there is one ritual you can follow.
Many people will tell you to burn the Ouija board. We strongly reject that advice. Not only does burning the board have the potential to inflict harm upon your person and property, many people believe that burning a Ouija board may create a curse. It's rumored that when a Ouija board is burned it lets loose a loud shriek into the night. Anyone that hears the shriek has less than two days to live. Therefore we suggest that you not burn the board. Especially considering that the plastic boards may let off toxic fumes when burned.
One accepted method of destroying a Ouija board is to break it (carefully) into seven pieces. Sprinkle holy water over these seven pieces and then bury them. Be sure to bury it in a peaceful location. A cemetery is probably not the best place.
Have a spooky story to share with us about a Ouija board that you tried to get rid of but came back to haunt you? If it's a good one we'll publish it on the site and give you credit.